March Madness Doesn’t Give A Damn!

Jump in to the trenches. Lock the bomb shelter. Stash all your preservatives and zip up those toxic waste suites. The apocalypse is on its way and it’s name BetUS Sportsbook, or your alma mater. It doesn’t care about you and you should care about it.

But you do…because it’s awesome.

In season’s past we were able to bank on probability in boat loads. Joakim Noah and Al Horford were surefire favorites to cover  two years ago. Last year, Derrick Rose and the Jayhawks.

Yet there are the gut punchers, and no kick to the nuts is remembered more than when Chris Duhon floated a useless half court shot at the end of the title game in 2004. I was in a room with 15 guys who had all bet on the game, and Duhon’s half-court shot at the end of the game not only didn’t count for anything in the end, it covered the spread, decimating the betting public and my friend’s living room in the progress. One guy destroyed the coffee table. Somebody threw a chair off the balcony. So many people threw shoes, pizza slices and lamps at the television that it broke. That’s the Madness getting to you at its best (click here for your printable March Madness bracket).

This year, the full moon is out and the betting dogs are howling. Why? Because they smell blood. Nobody is safe. March Madness is more dangerous than ever, whether your Tyler Hansbrough and UNC or the nasty Memphis Tigers looking to repeat with back-to-back appearances in the title game.

Let’s break down the signs: West Virginia in six overtimes. Six! That’s more times than I’ve been laid this calendar year.

But we’re not here to talk about my lack of game. We’re to talk about whether you think you’re ready to fend of the onslaught of March Madness. Are you really prepared for your girlfriend to beat you in the brackets this year after she selects the Gamecocks because it’s a funny name? Are you ready for more dizzying upsets and mind blowing buzzer beaters? You say you are…but you’re not.

Luckily there’s help, and free crap available at the best of the best in the industry. You want to win money, then get with BetUS. These guys threw a free TV at some lucky punk in their March Madness bracket buster. Now that guy gets to the host with the most as he flaunts a 50” plasma television this March Madness. What’s even crazier, they are giving away $ 1,000,000 dollars to someone that fills out the perfect bracket! Who knows, this year it could be you.

Everybody in the world of college basketball is losing games. Now, everybody who bets on college basketball will be losing their minds. Just don’t get caught under the betting bandwagon. Expect the unexpected. Drink yourself silly. Fill out the BetUS bracket contests and don’t worry about betting wisely. Conventional wisdom is for self-proclaimed pariahs and pompous nerds. That’s not what college ball is about. Not even close.

Grab a beer, get your brackets set and kick your feet up. It’s that time of year again to lose yourself in the madness. Hold on tight. It’s about to get messy.