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NHL 2009 Preview – The Western Conference Breakdown
by Tim Furious
DISASTER WARNING IN EFFECT!
15. Phoenix Coyotes (+4000)
I am so sick and goddamn tired of writing about the flipping Phoenix Coyotes this year, and the season hasn’t even started. Between Gretzky leaving, ownership in disarray, this team sucking harder than starving newborn baby and the fans in Phoenix caring more about the drama between Balsillie and Bettman than about this team’s well being, the Coyotes are destined for the cellar.
CONSTRUCTION ZONE! BEWARE OF REBUILDING PROCESS!
14. Colorado Avalanche (+4000)
The post-Joe Sakic era can now officially begin, and it starts from the ground up. The Avs start with a goalie that allowed .286 goals against per game (Peter Budaj) and don’t have a guy who can score more than 60-points on the roster, let alone multiple guys.
13. Los Angeles Kings (+2500)
We think this team has found a goalie for the future in Jonathan Quick, but the rest of the team is a mess. If anyone could actually mount a reasonable defense for why this team is any good, or will be any good in the near future, I’d certainly love to hear it. *long pause……longer pause* Ok, nobody? Moving on.
12. Dallas Stars (+2000)
Hockey great, Joe Nieuwendyk, has taken over the general manager post for the Stars, and that stands as the best move Dallas has made al year. Nieuwendyk swiftly hired Marc Crawford as his head coach, but the rebuilding process starts now. This team has been mortified by injuries and vaunted expectations. This team will only go as far as Brad Richards and Brenden Morrow can take them. Considering that Richards’ hockey heart and soul were back in Tampa, and Morrow can’t stay health, I don’t see the Stars limping very far.
11. Minnesota Wild (+2000)
If there’s any player I’m more exited to see break out this season than Mikko Koivu, I haven’t met him. Koivu is an incredible two-way player who has become an anchor for the special teams units in Minnesota. This team has also jettisoned most of its mainstays like Mario Gaborik and Kurtis Foster. They’re starting over, which means another season out of the playoffs.
10. Edmonton Oilers (+1800)
Let’s see here. Pat Quinn, one of the most unforgiving and ruthless NHL coaches who never showed a penchant for young talent, coaching a team with an average age hovering around 24-years old. With the help of Nikolai Khabibulin, 36-years old and fresh off a great year in Chicago, the Oilers could surprise some folks. But the bigger surprise will be if Quinn and this young roster can co-exist.
9. Nashville Predators (+2500)
I’m the wrong person to ask about the Predators. They’re the least sexy team in the league, and yet they always find ways to make noise at the worst times. They’re like a cold sore on your betting face; always popping up at the wrong time, and then hanging around for days on end while you try to pull of masking it with a scarf in the summer.
The Preds were without Steve Sullivan for a major part of last season, and now that he’s healthy, they sure as hell are hoping that he stays that way. Sully ended the season with 32-points in 41 games. This team is not a legit playoff contender, but there is no other team I’m more scared of in a random regular season game than the Predators. They have the talent to be a strong team, and the inconsistency of John Leguizamo’s movie career.
YOUNG GUNS ALERT!
8. St. Louis Blues (+1600)
The Blues are a youth movement in the making, and they went from a laughable start to a playoff finish. Can they keep it up? Only time will tell. This team has some incredible talent (Boyes, McDonald, Colaiacovo, Steen) mixed with some of the best vets in the game (Tkachuk, Kariya). Goal tending will have to avoid injuries and Chris Mason will have to continue his ascension to elite status. But if you love outside shots to make the playoffs, then St. Louis won’t have you singing the blues.
7. Columbus Blue Jackets (+2500)
The Jackets struck gold with rookie Steve Mason last year. They did it again by securing Rick Nash, who pocketed 79-points last season. The loss of Derick Brassard, their best face-off man, was a huge dent to their meteoric run last year. They gave the Wings fits last season in the first round, and stand to improve their stock. The problem? Nobody’s going to let the Jackets sneak up on them this year.
READY TO DISSAPOINT IN PLAYOFFS
6. Anaheim Ducks (1000)
The Ducks are this high on pedigree alone. They’ve been such a mainstay in the playoffs for years that its hard to imagine them finishing out of the top-8. With Ryan Getzlaf, they have one of the best scorers in the game. But without Scott Niedermeyer and Chris Pronger on their blue line, the complexion of this team has changed vastly. How they respond is anyone’s guess.
5. Calgary Flames (+1000)
The Flames robbed Florida of its best scorer last year by grabbing Oli Jokinen, and they still managed to get the crap kicked out of them. So let’s add another Panther! Jay Bouwmeester arrives in town to prove that he’s not the second coming of an overhyped stud on a crappy team by securing the blue-line where Dion Phaneuf has failed to do so by being more offensively minded. The Flames are a very good hockey team, but have never shown it in the playoffs. Since the lockout, the Flames have made the playoffs four seasons in a row…and been kicked out in the first round every year.
4. Chicago Blackhawks (+350)
Their captain, Patrick Kane, was arrested for punching a cab driver. They signed the worst bad luck charm in Marion Hossa to a staggering 12-year deal. The Bhulin wall was torn down in Chicago and erected in Edmonton. Regular season will be bountiful for these guys, but no team is surrounded by more bad omens than Chicago.
3. San Jose Sharks (+450)
If you think the Sharks can kick their incurable disease of disappointment by adding the biggest cancer in the league (Dany Heatley), then you, my friend, don’t know how ruthless the Hockey Gods can be.
TOP DOGS
2. Vancouver Canucks (+800)
The kept the Sedins. They secured Luongo. Ryan Kessler is due for a breakout season. From top-to-bottom, the Canucks are one of the most solid teams through four-lines and they have one of the best goalies in the league. With no Mats Sundin drama distracting them, the Canucks can focus on bringing the Cup back to Canada.
1. Detroit Red Wings (+300)
The demise of the Red Wings dynasty, and stranglehold on the President’s Cup, are being overblown. They still have some of the best scoring in the league, and if you need proof, then just look at their roster. They have two guys who can grab more than 80-points, and a handful of guys in that sweet 40-60 point range. I’m still not sold on Chris Osgood in net, but if any team has shown consistency on the road, in their own building, and in the playoffs, it’s the Red Wings.
