NHL – Leafs Add Cancer to Roster (Literally and Figuratively)

Brian Burke sure has some big balls trading three high draft picks for a 21-year old scoring sensation. At least he has bigger balls, than the uni-balled Phil Kessel, who is the first premier scoring acquisition of the Leafs in the Burke era. Kessel scored 36-goals and 24-assists in 70 games during the 2008-09 season as a Boston Bruin.

If Kessel and Jason Blake strike some chemistry, and the Leafs sign Lance Armstrong, Magic Johnson, and stack the corpse of Lou Gehrig in net, then the Leafs will have a lineup that can finally cure world hunger, solve the economic crisis and abolish poverty, while scoring 170-goals and disarming 135 nuclear weapons in North Korea.

All joking aside, and I say this not to disparage Burke’s incredible handling of a crumbling Leafs organization, three top picks for a young gun like Kessel is a tall order. It was obvious from the onset of the summer that Boston was going to hard-ball anyone if they wanted to pry Kessel from their grips, but it was also painstakingly clear that they wanted to dump Kessel, who was allegedly not the biggest team player in the locker room.

In short, Boston was happy to get rid of him, the Leafs were happy to take a chance on a kid that won’t have any wriggle room to act like Dany Heatley on a team with Burke as its commander in chief.

Kessler’s arrival in Toronto, Canada’s hockey capital of the world, is not without its fair share of optimism. Toronto ranked in the top-10 in scoring in the entire league (I’m not even kidding) with 2.98 goals for per game. They stacked their blue line behind Tomas Kaberle and Luke Schenn, adding Francois Beauchemin, Mike Komisarek and Garnet Exelby to the fold as well. Goal tending remains a huge concern, but having a top-scorer in the NHL will certainly make the Leafs play the role of spoiler in the Eastern Conference.

Even with the addition of Kessel, it’s hard to imagine Toronto usurping the Capitals, Penguins, Devils or Bruins in the Eastern Conference. They’re +1800 to survive the playoffs and represent the East in the Stanley Cup Finals, putting them as the oddsmakers’ fifth least favorite team in the 15-team Eastern Conference, along with the Sabres. But for a team that has focused solely on defense this offseason, it’s a refreshing boost for the morbid Leaf Nation.

While Heatley’s situation greatly resembles the Cutler situation in the NFL, the trade for Kessler is actually structured along the same lines. Toronto forfeits two number-ones in 2010 and 2011, along with a second rounder in 2011. It’s virtually identical for the trade Chicago made with Denver to acquire Cutler. That being said, the NHL Draft is as much a crap-shoot as any other draft, so the Leafs basically “drafted” Kessler first overall 2010, and gave away their top draft picks in 2011.

When you think about it like that, then it’s a good trade. If you consider Boston willingly jettisoning their third best scorer so willingly, you have to wonder exactly why. I’d say there’s more to Kessel than scoring goals; he may prove to be more trouble than he’s worth in Toronto. Did I mention that Kessel had off-season shoulder surgery in the summer and won’t be available till November to return to the ice?