NHL News - Patrick Kane Reportedly Stole From a Cabbie

Yes, the off-season keeps getting worse for the Chicago Blackhawks. After signing perennial Stanley Cup loser, Marion Hossa, to a 12-year deal that is now being investigated by the league for unlawful structure, then seeing their goalie bolt for greener pastures in Edmonton, now they have problems with their franchise player. Patrick Kane has been arrested for felony theft after stealing from a cab driver in Buffalo.

You read that concluding sentence right, folks. Patrick Kane, arrested for stealing from a cab driver. Now the police report sounds a little fuzzy to me, but Kane’s memory of the incident is probably likewise. The arrest took place at 5am, about an hour after Kane and his cousin punched a cab driver for not having twenty cents in change. Now I’ve never been one to discount the never-fail paperwork of policemen, but that really doesn’t sound like it all adds up.

First of all, who gets that ruffled up about twenty cents in change (aside from street performers)? Second of all, doesn’t Patrick Kane make $4 million a year? Unless he’s the cheapest date in town, I really don’t see how this adds up. Who punches a cab driver? I mean, I’ve outrun cab drivers before…hell, I’ve wanted to fight them sometimes, but never have I actually thrown down the gloves. Kids these days.

This hilariously depressing news comes off the heals of Kane’s community efforts in Buffalo, where he has helped finance the rebuilding of his childhood hockey rink. The community of Buffalo loves Patrick Kane, as they should. So the news comes as a bit of a shocker to say the least. Maybe he’ll get off on the “boys will be boys” argument. Personally, I think he should.

This is usually the paragraph devoted to gloating about Kane’s accomplishments. But instead I’m going to say this loud and clear: if you think the Blackhawks aren’t cursed thanks to Marion Hossa, then put down the crack pipe. Seriously, Chicago, can your superstars get it together? Jay Cutler pouted his way out of Denver in to Chicago, the Bulls have been horrific since Jordan left, the Cubs are cursed and I think the White Sox are ok. Can you just avoid any leering possibility of a “curse” coming to the Windy City? Your fans deserve it.