Top 5 Double Knockouts of All Time... With Video
by Tim Furious
Knockouts! Where Two Is Better Than One
Whenever two grown men step in to an arena to start punching each other in the face, it always excites the crowd. It speaks to our inner primate, our internal war monger and our most basic craving for violence. A great submission will get the crowd to its feet in a rousing applause, but nothing gets the blood thirsty crowd more jacked up then a knockout. What could possible be better?
The answer: a double knockout.
Cruising the internet for the best of the best, we’ve found someone who’s done us a big favor and compiled a slew of double knockouts for your viewing pleasure. Most of these are from MMA fights when guys are swinging so wildly that both guys decide it’s a good idea to drop their guard hand and leave their fragile chins wide open.
When the whole point of a fight is to enjoy a dominating victory via brain trauma so you can pump your fists like a gorilla, the only thing more demoralizing is realizing that your opponent managed to land a brutal blow…at the exact same time.
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1.) The Compilation
Why I Hate Soccer (skip to 1:29)
We all love it when soccer players take a shoulder brush and act like they’ve been run over by a snow plow, but this fight is great because you can’t tell if both guys are faking injuries at all by the end of it. The guy in the blue jersey grabs his freaking ankle after getting slammed in the face, while I’m pretty sure the dude in the white jersey is out cold counting stars. Just another reason to hate soccer players: they’d rather fake getting KO’d than win a fist fight.
2) “Did I Win???”
Tyler Bryant and Shaun Parker squared off in the octagon, and the fight ended not even 10-seconds in to the fight with a double KO. The best part (besides Bas Ruten laughing hysterically at their misfortune) is the guy on the right, whose arms are stuck up in mid-air like he’s celebrating the win. “Did I win?? Why does my brain hurt…zzzzz”. Just great stuff. If you’re not going to be known as an MMA legend, you might as well live in MMA infamy.
3) Spitting Image, Splitting Headache
Same punch. Same Time. Same collapse. The only difference is that one of them woke up asking, “What the hell happened to my hair?!”
4) Punch Drunk Awesome
Ok, so this was actual boxing, but these two were able to clip each other so badly that they both ended up standing up like they’d been hammering back shots of tequila instead of hammering away at each other. The white guy in the fight lives one of my worst fears: falling over semi-unconscious in a prone and vulnerable position known as, “I hope there are no gay rapists around here” kneel down.
5) Grunt…If You’re Alive
I thought that we were deploying these guys to fight terrorists. Turns out that they’ve already run around not finding any WMD’s and are instead just fighting each other. If you skip to the 1:26 mark, you’ll get to see what your tax dollars are being spent on. We’re paying these guys to play fight each other in a freaking sandbox. (Ok, I know that’s not true…but one of them isn’t even wearing his fatigues!)
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