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ENTERTAINMENT | Nov 28

Mark Cuban Is Out: No More Shark Tank

Welp, At Least He’ll Still Have the Dallas Mavericks to Entertain Himself

Mark Cuban Is Out: No More Shark Tank
Mark Cuban speaks onstage during the Vox Media's 2022 Code Conference/Jerod Harris/Getty Images for Vox Media/AFP

So Long, Sharks 🫡

They say money can’t buy you happiness but apparently, it can buy youth, luxury yachts, NBA teams…

In entertainment news, Mark Cuban, the bombastic billionaire NBA owner, and Shark Tank panelist, has decided that next year will be his last season in the Tank. Below we review his fascinating career and the legacy he leaves behind at one of television’s longest-running shows.

Time to Go

If I’m being truthful, I’ve never particularly cared for ABC’s Shark Tank. The recipe consists of one or more budding entrepreneurs with what they believe is a life-changing idea and have them pitch it to five fabulously wealthy business people looking to exploit – er, invest – in a dream.

Some of the ideas are absurd while others are intriguing. The panelists either reject the idea or bid against each other to woo the guests to their side of the boardroom. It has the distinct feel of a guppy in a tank of sharks circling for blood. Thus, the name – Shark Tank.

Personally, I feel like I need to take a shower after watching someone at their most vulnerable either leave in disgrace or agree to a deal that is likely not in their best interests. But if you’re a small businessman or woman with nowhere else to turn and want to risk being used and abused on national TV then I guess if they don’t care why, should I? But for some reason I do.

Dallas Mavericks owner, Mark Cuban, has been on the show since Season 2 and will be exiting next year once Season 16 has concluded. Shark Tank products like Bombas, Squatty Potty, and Scrub Daddy have made hundreds of millions of dollars and for those select few guests, Shark Tank has been a dream maker and a life-changer.


Mark Cuban’s net worth is estimated at around $6.2 billion so it’s pretty safe to say he can put this side hustle to bed without losing any sleep. He still has the Mavs, his favorite toy, to play with, and at age 65 he looks like a man in his early 40s. They say money can’t buy you happiness but apparently, it can buy youth, luxury yachts, NBA teams, and…of course it buys happiness!

The hallmarks of Cuban’s tenure at Shark Tank are the following:

  • Invested in over 85 companies
  • Invested over $29M in said companies
  • The majority of those investments are still growing and he still has this season and next to add to that total.


Cuban summed up how he evaluates the business ideas presented on the show.

“The harder they have to try to sell, the worse the deal,” he stated. “The longer the backstory, the worse the deal. Meaning, the minute you start telling me how hard it was for you? It’s hard for every motherf*cking entrepreneur.”

“I don’t need to hear your backstory,” he explained. “Tell me about your business, tell me why you are going to be successful. Tell me what’s different about it. Tell me how you stand out.”
“I look for ideas [where I’m] like, ‘Damn, why didn’t I think of that.’”

 

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