Money Do Buy Happiness 🏡
Maybe we’ll see a few little Ohtanis taking over those bedrooms in the future…
Dodgers’ superstar slugger, Shohei Ohtani, recently made MLB news when he purchased an LA mansion in the foothills of the Verdugo Mountains from entertainer Adam Carolla.
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Sho-Me the Money
MLB rumors were swirling during the offseason as to where the Big O would be plying his trade this season after his contract with the Angels expired. Shohei Otani’s stats in 2023 set him up for a monster deal when he became the first player in history to hit 40 home runs and win 10 MLB games as a pitcher.
🦄 UNANIMOUS 🦄
🦄 満票MVP 🦄Shohei Ohtani is the 2023 American League Most Valuable Player! pic.twitter.com/MvOuNzNVdp
— Los Angeles Angels (@Angels) November 16, 2023
Therefore, it wasn’t surprising when the Dodgers rolled up a Brinks truck and delivered $700 million over 10 years. And being the smart bastard that he is, Ohtani has deferred $68 million of his $70 million annual salary each year until 2034 when his contract expires. But don’t worry kids, he’s still got a few bucks to spare on the essentials like food, clothing, and – oh, right – a $7.85 million crash pad.
This crib used to belong to the star of the Adam Carolla podcast but he’s getting a divorce from the lady of the manor and his wife of 25 years, Lynette Paradise. She looks like someone you might see on Hollywood Housewives or whatever reality pseudo-drama that has high-end vintage MILFs catfighting and caterwauling in between Botox treatments.
Is Shohei Ohtani having his best year yet? pic.twitter.com/7KdaR3f6Nt
— MLB (@MLB) May 22, 2024
What’s He Getting for His Money?
The manse has five bedrooms and 6 ½ bathrooms with a four-car garage, a home theater, gym, sauna, and of course, the obligatory infinity pool. Oh, and there are 7,237 square feet of luxury living space which means each square foot costs nearly $1,100.
But even though Ohtani is only drawing a paltry $2 million off his Dodgers’ salary, you’ll be able to sleep soundly knowing he made about $65 million from endorsements last year. No need to start a GoFundMe for Sho-Time as I have a feeling he’ll be making at least that much this season.
As for his situation, he obviously bought this as a love nest and not a f*ck pad after announcing his marriage by saying he “began a new life with someone from my Native country of Japan who is very special to me” in February.
That took everyone by surprise because apparently in Japan discretion is still a thing and Ohtani exercised it immaculately with nobody seeing this one coming. But it wasn’t until March that we learned the name of the mystery woman who happens to be Women’s Japan Basketball League star, Mamiko Tanaka.
Shohei Ohtani and Cameron Brink connected yesterday and Ohtani revealed that his wife, Mamiko Tanaka, wants to meet her! 💙
🎥: @la_sparks pic.twitter.com/g01NaCu2Kw
— Dodgers Nation (@DodgersNation) May 21, 2024
Let’s wish the married couple well in their new digs and maybe we’ll see a few little Ohtanis taking over those bedrooms in the future.
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