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MORE SPORTS | Mar 18

Paris 2024 Olympics is Set to be a Competitive and Sexual Environment

Collect an Olympic Medal and Then Get Laid in Peace

Paris 2024 Olympics is Set to be a Competitive and Sexual Environment
Packs of "nasi lemak" flavoured condoms/MANAN VATSYAYANA/AFP

Cardiovascular Training Finds a New Meaning… 😉

Food, sex, and a bit of competition, what more do we need from life?

Athletes heading to the Paris 2024 Olympics needn’t worry about finding enough time to raise their cardio levels, as the intimacy ban has been lifted.

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Can we get a round of applause for encouraged Olympic sex?

In addition to the glorious rule change, the Olympic Village houses attending athletes and has been stocked with 300,000 condoms. Seems a little excessive, even for my standards (5-6 times per week for those asking), and with 14,000 athletes and staff utilizing the village, I can’t help but wonder how much f*cking they expect. That said, I guess it’s better to be safe than sorry.

If you’ve ever believed the old wives’ tale that athletes perform better with a full load, I guess it’s time to start considering which athletes are doing the naughty stuff and implementing such statistics into our sports handicapping.

 

A Ban on Sex… What?!

If your memory is short-lived, back in 2020, during the Tokyo Summer Olympics, the COVID-19 pandemic involved social distance – and to keep all those horny b*stards in check, getting busy was banned. Rubbers were still handed out, but allegedly, they were supposed to be souvenirs.

This is quite comical; I’m sure athletes were doing marathons and gymnastics in bed either way, but to put a ban on such activities and still hand out condoms was a farce. The entire “they’re souvenirs” nonsense was a cover; they knew hanky-panky was going down, and people needed protection.

But here we are in 2024; the pandemic is long behind us, and all of those involved at the Paris Olympics can break their personal bests in more ways than one.

 

What’s Going Down – Or Up – In the Olympic Village

The sex village, sorry, I mean “The Olympic Village”, will host 14,500 athletes and staff and provide enough condoms to ensure each person can have more than enough sex, including various other amenities… Hopefully, wet wipes are also included.

Apparently, the Village is providing beds that will hold up to 550 pounds and endless amounts of food. I mean… the more I read on this, it’s starting to sound like heaven. Food, sex, and a bit of competition, what more do we need from life?

Well, I guess it’s time I start running. If I’m lucky, I might qualify for Los Angeles 2028.

 

 

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