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MORE SPORTS | Mar 14

Someone Stole the Penguins’ Shipment of Jaromir Jagr Bobbleheads

Why the F*ck Would Anyone Steal 20,000 Bobbleheads? What Are You Gonna Do, Sell Them on the Dark Web?

Someone Stole the Penguins’ Shipment of Jaromir Jagr Bobbleheads
Jaromir Jagr -Justin Berl/Getty Images/AFP

The Great Bobblehead Heist

The biggest question is if the thief or thieves knew they were stealing bobbleheads…

If you’re a Pittsburgh Penguins fan and were hoping to get a Jaromir Jagr bobblehead at tonight’s Penguins game against the San Jose Sharks, you’re sh*t out of luck. The team announced the NHL news that their shipment of bobbleheads was stolen after arriving in California.

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Who the hell steals bobbleheads that the team was literally going to give away for free? Luckily for fans who were looking forward to their Jagr bobblehead, the Penguins are giving away vouchers so that fans can get it at a later date.

 

Penguins Are Shocked This Happened

Unfortunately for the Penguins, they weren’t expecting to have to deal with NHL rumors about stolen bobbleheads.

“We were shocked to be a victim of cargo theft, and we are working closely with local and federal authorities on the investigation,” Penguins president of business operations Kevin Acklin said in a statement. “While this unfortunate incident adds to the legend of Jaromir Jagr, who will be in attendance as our guest at tonight’s game, we look forward to resolving this theft and delivering the prized Jagr bobbleheads to their rightful homes, with our fans.”


This is definitely a dumb mess that the team is going to have to clean up now. I can’t imagine bobbleheads are too expensive to produce considering teams are constantly giving them away for free. However, it’s still a potential expense the Penguins didn’t think they’d have to deal with.

 

But Why Steal Bobbleheads?

OK, now we have to talk about the thief. 20,000 bobbleheads are a lot to steal. This wasn’t some crackhead who came across a small box and decided to run away with it. No, this had to be some kind of calculated plan.

The biggest question is if the thief or thieves knew they were stealing bobbleheads. I can’t imagine they’d try to pull off this heist knowing it was bobbleheads.


Let’s say they were able to sell all of those bobbleheads at $20 a pop. That’s only $400,000. That doesn’t seem like enough money to justify this big of a job. Man, I can’t wait to see this heist movie. Our criminals led by George Clooney spend the first hour planning this elaborate heist and once they pull it off they find…Jaromir Jagr bobbleheads.

The fact that is Jaromir Jagr makes it even funnier. People who don’t watch hockey likely don’t even know that name.

I would pay a pretty penny to see our thieves’ faces after opening up that shipment.

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