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MORE SPORTS | Aug 07

Viral Pole Vaulter’s ‘Pole’ Could Land Him a New Job

Anthony Ammirati’s Junk Crushed His Olympic Dreams But It Could Also Be the Key to a Six-Figure Deal

Viral Pole Vaulter’s ‘Pole’ Could Land Him a New Job
Anthony Ammirati (FRA) | CROSNIER Julien / KMSP / KMSP via AFP

Blessed 🍆

I’d award you for what everyone else saw, your talent below the belt. – Daryny Parker

A wise man once said, “A man is not finished when he is defeated. He is finished when he quits. If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life.”

This is a quote suitable for France’s pole vaulter, Anthony Ammirati. Although confidence should certainly not be an issue with such a stud.

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This past weekend, his desire to become an Olympic champion was crushed as he made headlines for all the wrong reasons. I want to say, “Keep your head up,” but that is his problem. When attempting to clear the pole, Anthony’s junk collided with said pole, sending the bar and his hopes of competing in the Olympic final into tatters.

 

Career Opportunities for Ammirati

When the Frenchman’s penis prevented him from clearing the 5.70-meter pole vault, there wasn’t a single man in existence that felt sorry for him. However, I can personally relate, and I understand the complications he must deal with daily.

No pair of tracksuit bottoms is safe, speedos are a no-go, and men like us just want to be treated like everyone else. It’s a struggle, but life goes on.

That said, there certainly could be worse ways to lose, and having a massive shlong is already opening the door for potential opportunities outside of athletics, albeit far from the life of attempting a pole vault world record.

Daryny Parker is the vice president of CamSoda, a popular porn website, allegedly offered the 21-year-old French Olympian a six-figure deal to reveal his “true talents.”

TMZ Sports proclaims they have a copy of the proposal, in which Parker saw HUGE potential in Ammirati’s God-given talents: “If it were up to me, I’d award you for what everyone else saw, your talent below the belt,” Parker wrote.

“As a lover of crotch-centric activities, I’d love to offer you up to $250,000 in exchange for a 60-minute webcam show, in which you show off your goods, minus the cross, of course.”

 

Should Ammirati Take the Offer?

It hasn’t been long since we saw the Edmonton Oilers fan who flashed her breasts receive offers from the adult industry and accept said lucrative offers. And while six-figure contracts must be tempting for a pole vaulting athlete who likely hasn’t made close to what’s being offered, we’re certain his athletic aspirations will keep him clear of a sudden career change.

Ammirati may have lost the 2024 Paris Olympics, but I guarantee he’s receiving more direct messages from women than any of the Gold medal winners at the games.

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