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NCAAB | Apr 01

Final Four 2024: The Power Rankings (of Fun)

Ranking the Final Four Teams Based on Who Would Be the Most Fun National Champion

Final Four 2024: The Power Rankings (of Fun)
Zach Edey #15 of the Purdue Boilermakers-Gregory Shamus/Getty Images/AFP

So, Who’s 🔥 and Who’s 💩?

As much as I love you, Jonathan the Husky, it’s time for another team to sit on the throne.

In case you were out hunting Easter eggs all day, the Final Four is set with the latest college basketball news. Now, that we know the four teams heading to Phoenix, what better way to celebrate than ranking the squads?

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Not in the way you are thinking, though. Here’s a look at my rankings of the Final Four teams based on who would be the most fun national champion 🔥 to the most boring title option 💩.

No. 4 UConn: Sorry, Jonathan the Husky

I don’t have any ill will against UConn basketball but they just grabbed the title belt last season. There is plenty to like about this squad.

I enjoy the pettiness of Dan Hurley. The mascot is named Jonathan after myself. I think this is the first time in history I’ve shared the same name as a mascot. This Butler Blue video with Jonathan is EVERYTHING.

 

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A post shared by Butler Blue IV (@thebutlerblue)


As much as I love you, Jonathan, it’s time for another team to sit on the throne.

 

View this post on Instagram

 

A post shared by UConn (@uconn)

 

No. 3 Alabama: Stick to Football

Look, you guys are already the evil empire in football. Now, we’ve got Alabama basketball making the first Final Four in program history.

Bama fans would be insufferable if they get an NCAAB tournament title to go with all the football trophies. This is actually a fun Crimson Tide squad led by Grant Nelson, who has the basketball’s best mustache since Larry Bird. Mark Sears is a baller.


But honestly, the world might collapse if Bama is capable of championships in both sports.

 

No. 2 Purdue: Zach Edey’s Get Back

I know this is not a popular opinion, but I thoroughly enjoy watching Zach Edey play basketball. This is quite a redemption story as Purdue just lost to a No. 16 seed in the 2023 NCAA tournament.


College basketball rumors about Purdue’s demise appear to be greatly exaggerated.

Now, the Boilermakers have a chance to follow in Virginia’s footsteps by following an embarrassing loss to a No. 16 seed with a national championship. This would be Purdue’s first national title.

Also, I may have a futures bet on Purdue to win the championship so this really is like rooting for your boy.

No. 1 NC State: DJ Burns Is a National Treasure

We keep waiting for NC State’s collapse in March Madness games but it’s clear it is not happening. The Wolfpack needed to win the ACC tournament just to make it into March Madness.


Now, NC State gets close to a week off to rest. Watching DJ Burns play basketball gives me hope for the world. In a tournament dominated by chalk, NC State basketball is the lone double-digit seed to make any noise.

Not the typical Cinderella given this is a historic ACC squad, but Burns also does not look like a traditional center.

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