Winners Get Washed 🧼
I don’t deserve soap… – Fran Brown
Football coaches truly are one of a kind. They live and breathe football, they’ll boast about sleeping in their office during the alleged 100-hour work weeks, and yet we still question why they make the dumbest decisions on game day.
But one thing we never really question is their hygiene. Maybe we should after the college football news Syracuse rookie coach Fran Brown made this week when he said he follows a ritual where he doesn’t shower after a loss.
Syracuse Coach says he does not shower after losses 💀
“I don’t deserve soap” 😂😂😂
pic.twitter.com/MaGOpd9KpV— Complex Sports (@ComplexSports) November 12, 2024
Guess who lost on Saturday? Syracuse football took a 37-31 loss at Boston College, so Brown apparently waited a few days to wash himself. He just brushed his teeth instead, so that his breath wouldn’t stink.
Now That’s Dedication!
You almost nailed it, coach. If you’re going to skip the shower, you just brush your teeth, rub on some deodorant, and either a quick washrag over the privates or you better find some fresh underwear. Then you should be good to go for another 12 hours or more.
Just don’t expect to get any action from your wife, but Brown is apparently so deep into this ritual that he already knows he can’t sleep in the same bed as her the night he loses a CFB game. That sounds like a good motivating factor to get back in the winning column the next weekend.
His wife when he comes after a loss pic.twitter.com/KyNGUOYnPK
— AY🇸🇴 (@aykeepitabuck) November 12, 2024
But “I don’t deserve soap” and “Winners get washed” are classic lines. Even his closing with “I’m a loser, I just kind of waited a little bit” is delivered with such deadpan comedy that I have to wonder if Brown is in the wrong profession. Someone who sees this should feel inspired to make a comedy series in the vein of The Office set at a college football program. You can have a running joke about the coach who won’t get washed after a loss.
Who Is Fran Brown?
Fortunately, Brown hasn’t lost many college football games for Syracuse in his first year on the job. His record is 6-3, putting him on track for the team’s best season since 2018 when his predecessor was 10-3.
Brown ➡️ Orange
@FranBrownUGA is the 31st head coach in Syracuse football history.
More: https://t.co/LtWtFVGMcf pic.twitter.com/mqUOCTg8Di
— Syracuse Football (@CuseFootball) November 28, 2023
Brown is only 42 years old and has served as an assistant coach for several schools, including Temple, Baylor, and Rutgers. He was the defensive backs coach for Georgia in 2022-23 before he got the job at Syracuse in large part for his South Jersey recruiting connections.
Brown was born and raised in Camden, New Jersey where he attended high school. While he’s a defensive specialist, he was a high school quarterback who set the school record with 47 touchdowns. He played corner for Western Carolina, and before getting into coaching, Brown spent time on the practice squad with the NFL’s Cincinnati Bengals in 2007-08. But he never appeared in any NFL games.
One of my favorite stories I’ve done.
How Camden, N.J. shaped Syracuse football’s new coach Fran Brown. Hope you can take a few minutes to check it out🍊 pic.twitter.com/hVEwc6qqaB
— Tommy Sladek (@TommySladek) February 18, 2024
Brown seems to be a solid hire for Syracuse, so for the sake of everyone but his opponents, here’s to more showers in his future.
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