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NFL | Apr 10

Travis Kelce Has No Clue How He Landed Taylor Swift

“I Don’t Know How the F*ck I Did It?”

Travis Kelce Has No Clue How He Landed Taylor Swift
Travis Kelce #87 of the Kansas City Chiefs/ Ezra Shaw/Getty Images/AFP

The Answer to Wooing a Global Pop Icon

“She wasn’t into sports. So, I don’t know how the f** I did it.” -Kelce

Seven months following the public announcement of their relationship, Kansas City Chiefs star Travis Kelce remains dumbfounded at how he wooed one of the world’s most famous pop stars.

Comedic singer and actor Lil Dicky, recently joined Kelce on his New Heights podcast, but it wasn’t just NFL games and NFL news that the Chiefs tight end discussed.

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Little Dick, I mean “Dicky,” like many other Americans, thinks the famous couple is adorable, so of course, he sends shots to the haters: “Anyone who hates is a bitter loser.


My feelings are hurt – not – so f*ck you and your small manhood because not everyone has the patience to support a celebrity pairing just because of Taylor Swift’s net worth or because they attended P Diddy parties.

The entire scenario is cringe-worthy, and for the record, I’m no hater just because I don’t follow the crowd like most idiots.

 

Travis Doesn’t Know How He Did It

Moving on from Lil Dicky glazing Kelce, the Chiefs man thanked him and explained how he didn’t know how the f*ck he did it:

I don’t know how I did it,” he said about dating Swift, “because she wasn’t into sports. So, I don’t know how the f*ck I did it.


Perhaps Kelce didn’t do anything, and the entire situation is a PR Stunt?

Well, I don’t want to be a conspiracy theorist; it’s not like Sean Diddy Combes or Jefferey Epstein assisted in the sexual exploitation of their rich and famous friends of anything. The A-listers and mega-rich of this world are perfect; I’d never dare accuse them of such hideous crimes.

 

Time Will Tell

However, Kelce bagged Swift, and I genuinely couldn’t care less… neither could 90% of the NFL fan base. The only people who seem to care are the cult members known as “The Swifties,” it’s just unfortunate that so many of them are.

Time will tell how genuine this couple is, and should it be 100% authentic, I wish them the best. That doesn’t, however, mean that I should support them or be referenced as a hater if I don’t. I don’t support my 55-year-old neighbor being a cougar and dating younger men, but I also don’t hate her for it, you know what I mean.


That said, I said it before, and I’ll say it again… Where’s Kayne when you need him? Perhaps we should get him front-row seats at Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour.

 

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