‘The Three Kittens’ Somehow Get Past Slovakia
On occasion, luck is more advantageous than skill…
With eighty-four seconds until England’s fraud check was incoming, another miracle for Gareth Southgate and co. played out.
Sunday, we witnessed yet another lifeless, uninspiring, and downright embarrassing performance from England, the Euro 2024 favorites and 2020 finalists.
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But somehow, The Three Lions, who we’ve renamed “The Three Kittens,” scrambled back to defeat Slovakia in extra time.
Bellingham and Kane to the Rescue
The young soccer maestro, Jude Bellingham, flipped his body horizontally mid-air to land a 95th-minute bicycle kick just 84 seconds before Slovakia was looking to etch a 1-0 victory. Then, one minute into ET, Harry Kane headed the ball into the net, making a crucial but his only contribution to the game.
Stunning from Jude Bellingham 🤸😲@AlipayPlus | #EUROGOTT pic.twitter.com/0CAWvwhO2W
— UEFA EURO 2024 (@EURO2024) June 30, 2024
England fought to the death, but they certainly didn’t fight beforehand. Watching this team squeeze out victory from the tight grip Slovakia had on them might mean this team is bad enough to reach the Euro 2024 finals, and this isn’t a joke.
Call it a contradictory sentiment to have. However, it makes much more sense if you watched Southgate’s squad at the Euros thus far, desperately steal every inch of luck, and scrape by with mediocre and sometimes God-awful performances. And with that, you’ll know how the best teams aren’t always those who’re lifting the trophy.
On occasion, luck is more advantageous than skill.
▫️ Jude Bellingham scores, Harry Kane does the Jude
▫️ Harry Kane scores, Jude Bellingham does the Kane
— B/R Football (@brfootball) June 30, 2024
Let me remind you of Portugal at the Euros in 2016 and Greece before that in 2004. We also witnessed it when Italy topped soccer news after claiming the 2006 World Cup.
And with that said, If any poor-performing team is bad enough to win the 2024 European Championships, this out-of-sorts, egotistical-fuelled English team is primed for the taking.
England could’ve been three or even four-nil down to Slovakia, as the boo’s of their fellow countryman reigned down in Gelsenkirchen for most of the game. But shockingly, Southgate keeps his job for now, and the kittens keep purring as they head into the quarter-finals against Switzerland this weekend.
There Was NO Man-Of-The-Match
England’s captain, Kane, must be working as a German insider because the man who’s supposed to be leading barely moved! Bellingham, who I previously touted as the best player in soccer rumors, made me look like a fool and cried like an incompetent teenager for most of the game. Declan Rice forgot how to pass; Kyle Walker made Lukas Haraslin look like Pele, while Phil Foden and Bukayo Saka must’ve forgotten this wasn’t the training field.
There wasn’t a man-of-the-match-worthy player for England, yet here we are, heading to the quarters. But it isn’t the fortunate result that keeps us English fans angrily frustrated; it’s the seemingly unawareness of this squad, continuing with their ego-fuelled comments as if they deserve to still be in the tournament.
“Sometimes it feels like there’s a pile-on from the fans… moments like tonight throw it back to some people” 👀
Jude Bellingham on how England’s dramatic 2-1 win over Slovakia can hush the doubters… 🍿 pic.twitter.com/bK3D24sKXq
— Sky Sports Football (@SkyFootball) June 30, 2024
England must travel, realizing they’re the luckiest and worst-performing team in this competition. But they won’t; they seem content. Let’s hope this changes before they meet Italy’s conquerors on Saturday, although it likely won’t.
You know what, it doesn’t matter… England will probably falter again and stumble through to the semis – last night’s luck is evidence this unit can get away with anything and still win.
#EURO2024 | England is currently the favorite to win the tournament at +350! 🏴🏆
Are you backing the Three Lions, or are you supporting another team? Let us know in the comments 👇
📲: https://t.co/zMyDe2JTtl pic.twitter.com/tsEXqCUedm
— BetUS Soccer ⚽ (@BetUSSoccer) July 1, 2024
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