Who’s Taking the Win? The Lionesses or La Roja?
I am a Catalonian now or am I just chasing windmills like Don Quixote?
After a string of shrewd endings, the latest soccer news reveals that the FIFA script writers finally made a misstep when determining the Women’s World Cup 2023 final. With a chance for the home country to compete for the championship, FIFA mistakenly wrote England’s name in Sharpie over Australia as The Three Lions will take on Spain.
THE FINALE WE ALL DESERVE
Both Spain and England have qualified for their first-ever FIFA Women’s World Cup Final, who will win it all? 🇪🇸🏴 pic.twitter.com/qMft03GhKO
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 16, 2023
Sam Kerr’s equalizing wondergoal in the 63rd minute provided a frenzied Australian crowd with a brief sense of false hope. Two goals later, England quickly pulled away, providing a 3-1 score that looked closer to the reality of the sizable difference between the squads.
IN-KERR-EDIBLE ⚽️🇦🇺
SAM KERR slams in long-range stunner! Co-hosts 🇦🇺 draw level at 1-1. Kerr, face of the tournament, had to wait until semifinals to start because of injury, then produces an all-timer. & what a moment! pic.twitter.com/nDSPxYe5iN
— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) August 16, 2023
We may not see Australia play in front of their home fans, but England-Spain offers plenty of intrigue.
SAM KERR’s stunner sparked pandemonium across Australia. ⚽️🇦🇺 This is how it was received in Melbourne, 400+ miles from Stadium Australia but bound by the gripping WWC. 🔊⬆️ Just listen to that roar. pic.twitter.com/RdD6vXFY4c
— Men in Blazers (@MenInBlazers) August 16, 2023
Memo to FIFA Script Writers: Spain 13-0
You may remember I made a promise to book a one-way ticket to Spain if the country can pull off its first-ever FIFA Women’s World Cup title. Well, what good are promises without follow-through?
Thanks to the soccer gods, Jon Rahm and all that is right with the universe, I will be in Barcelona just in time to see Spain take on England in the World Cup final clash.
FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, SPAIN REACHES THE FIFA WOMEN’S WORLD CUP FINAL 🇪🇸🏆 pic.twitter.com/Dzx9NdapzD
— FOX Soccer (@FOXSoccer) August 15, 2023
That return ticket is looking a little more dodgy.
Given NINE! ladies on the Spanish squad play for Barca, it is not a bad place to watch the final World Cup fixture. An additional two Barcelona players will suit up for England.
11 Barcelona players, 9 from Spain and 2 from England, will be part of the 2023 FIFA Women’s World Cup Final on Sunday. History being created. 🙌 pic.twitter.com/8GZuZQrXGU
— Barça Buzz (@Barca_Buzz) August 16, 2023
Here is the important part, given the FIFA script writers mistakenly decided to advance England over Australia, I have taken the liberty to provide the perfect World Cup ending.
Spain 13 – England 0.
Now, I know what you are thinking, this script is entirely self-serving. You are indeed correct.
My pitch for the final FIFA script: Spain scores 13 goals and I try to match each score with another bocadillo de jamón. My new Spanish friends and I will then march to the Barcelona match that night with our bellies full of hope and jamón.
Barcelona winning the World Cup ?
Normal Normal pic.twitter.com/7dKVJE3ky2— JEY🥇 (@MmoaNkoaaa) August 15, 2023
Did I mention I also have a Spain futures ticket? #WinnersOnly
Spain Is a Slight Favorite Over England
Let’s put my lifelong two-week fandom of Spain on hold for a second. The opening BetUS odds have Spain as an ever-so-slight favorite.
England dominated the time of possession against Australia, and aside from Kerr’s previously mentioned wondergoal looked like they were in an entirely different class. Spain needed late goals in each of their last two matches to advance.
Things are also getting more awkward in Spain than being seated next to a breakup at your favorite coffee shop. The players are at odds with both the federation and coaching staff over working conditions.
The story of Jorge Vilda and the
15 players who left — A thread: pic.twitter.com/aXCj6MRlHf— Michael (@MichaelEmilio_) August 16, 2023
Things Are Getting Awkward in Spain
Consider this heartwarming moment between Spanish manager Jorge Vilda as he pulls his best Tom Brady impression looking for literally anyone to high-five after Spain advanced to the final. This is literally the real-life version of the John Travolta meme.
Passen d’ell, senzillament…🤷♂️ pic.twitter.com/Zug0Uh8CB9
— Xavier 🇨🇦 (@barrademig) August 11, 2023
Despite the ongoing drama and soccer rumors, Spain has managed to look like one of the most consistent teams in the tournament. Yet, Spanish supporters feel more conflicted than you watching a LIV Golf tournament about what to root for heading into the final.
As for me, it might be time to cancel my return trip to Atlanta.
I am a Catalonian now or am I just chasing windmills like Don Quixote?
Either way, I’ve got my Spanish speedo ready.
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