The Pittsburgh Steelers blew it on Sunday and were dismantled by the San Francisco 49ers 30-7. Most weeks, I wouldn’t care about that, but at +8.5 NFL odds, I had high hopes for the Steelers as the lead leg of our Week 1 NFL teaser.
At least the Houston Texans had the decency to push as +16-point underdogs against the Baltimore Ravens.
Long story short, Week 1 was good for us in many regards, but my teaser was not one of them.
But it’s a long season full of opportunities to cash in on quality NFL picks. With that in mind, let’s dive back into the deep end and try to make up for the clown show my NFL teaser picks put on last weekend.
Week 2 NFL Teaser Picks
NFL Week 2 Teaser Leg No. 1: 49ers (-2)
I had a lot to say about the Week 1 matchup between the Pittsburgh Steelers and San Francisco 49ers. Most of my criticism of San Francisco revolved around my lack of faith that Brock Purdy wasn’t a one-hit wonder. He was undeniably great in 2022, but I expected harsh regression for the former Mr. Irrelevant.
But, with 220 yards passing, two touchdowns, and zero interceptions, Purdy looked damn good in Week 1. I may have been a bit harsh on the Sophomore play caller. He was sacked three times, but with an average of 7.6 yards per completion, Purdy’s Cinderella story may not be over just yet.
Brock Purdy is the 1st QB in NFL history to lead his team to a win in each of his 1st 6 career starts, while also having 2+ TDs in each of those starts. pic.twitter.com/0gkyei9mO0
— NFL Stats (@NFL_Stats) September 14, 2023
This week, the 49ers take on another 1-0 team, the Los Angeles Rams, following a 30-13 upset victory over the Seattle Seahawks. Matthew Stafford, another player I was low on in Week 1, exploded for 334 yards, though he did not throw a touchdown.
The 49ers have a far better team on paper, and I love that we’re getting them within a field goal, thanks to NFL odds on this teaser. San Francisco has an advantage on the sidelines, too, with head coach Kyle Shanahan boasting a 9-3 record against the NFL spread when facing opposing play-caller Sean McVay. Last season, the 49ers beat LA twice by a combined score of 31 points.
Considering that I believe the Rams got worse over the offseason, I’m all over the 49ers to come through for us at the adjusted NFL lines of -2.
NFL Week 2 Teaser Leg No. 2: Bengals +3.5
After their Week 1 collapse, we have to give the Bengals some help to make them a worthy NFL bet to rebound in Week 2. The Bengals have the talent to make a run at the Super Bowl, but it’s clear that there are still gaps in the armor here.
In Week 2, the Bengals face off against AFC North rivals, the Baltimore Ravens, who looked very impressive in their Week 1 victory over an admittedly weak Houston Texans. The Bengals, for those that didn’t know, got two in the back of the head at the hands of the Browns.
While I dislike playing the blame game, I have to lay this loss on Joe Burrow. The Bengals’ signal caller had his worst game since becoming a pro, with a completion rate of just 45.2%, zero touchdowns, and 82 passing yards.
Here’s the full interaction with Joe Burrow about his haircut.
Q: “How do you know it’s time to get a haircut?”
Burrow: “When you have a game like that on Sunday.” pic.twitter.com/JMvhtmWSAs
— Caleb Noe (@CalebNoeTV) September 13, 2023
The Bengals were slow to start last season but eventually got in gear and made it to the AFC Championship Game.
After stalling out against Cleveland, Burrow and the offense get going in Week 2. At +3.5 on the teaser line, their chance to cover the adjusted spread is fantastic. Let’s just hope Burrow’s sore calf doesn’t go all Aaron Rodgers and blow out on the opening drive.